Though I understand what this article is trying to say I dont fully agree with it. By that time maintenance to wife and kid has started and he is drained off all his money. My brother in law gets less then 200 a month for twins and i pay 770 a month for one kid. So why bother. Ive been going through a lot with this and the system needs to be fair. I read all about the fees charged for everything they collect mostly fees on the support if my children get the trickle down its like 3/4 state 1/4 to kids. Then I got supervisor rights. Why cant we just go 50/50 on all the extra to make it fair? you are being forced into paternity and/or an unfair child support obligation against your wishes, you are a victim of domestic violence, . I tried that with my ex and he does not even want 15 days with my kid so he does not have to pay child support, he just simply does not want to pay if he could even at the start when we he watches our kid every weekend (now down to 7-9 days) since he start paying, does not even share medical bills as per our divorce decree. Hang in there and good luck. To the payee it hurts. Not only did my father fill my mind with false claims about my mother, he also brought her to court countless times over what he viewed as an unfair child support arrangement. Not only that, but I actually offered him 50/50 custody with no child support on either side, and he turned me down thinking he wouldnt have to pay that much because I work. 3. Lets discuss reason why single people dont have to pay back welfare. This makes the assumption that the states dont already know their laws are draconian. As stated by someone above I am a money supplier and a babysitter. The mothers salary absolutely does matters because it takes two parents to create and raise a child and a working mother can pay just like a working father. Lord knows he isnt supplying anything. Look outside the little bubble of your life and understand that people that have less in life still have children and bad things happen to people. The way it works now I get to see my youngest based on my exs work schedule. The Child Support Performance and Incentive Act creates financial incentives to both place the children with the lower earning parent, and to restrict the non-custodial parents access to their children. WE WILL BE HEARD!! My babysitter offered to care for my son (live there) while I stayed in the hospital both times with my daughter. She has moved several places, my husband would try and follow to care for her and his kids. She is fully capable of make $85+k per year in our state doing the proffesion she went to college for. Even when faced with difficult financial situations, many fathers tried to find other ways to provide emotional support for their children. Then, they guilt trip you by asking you want to take care of your child, dont you? Some of the tactics that states and local jurisdictions have employed to increase child support collection among low-income non-custodial dads include: Making child support payments more affordable. I have to save for a month to be able to take them to a movie. I feel so bad for my daughter. The mortality rate is three times as much sorry even womens mortality rate on the job is no better. Absolutely . I got the full scene on video and got it online for divorce proof later on. i cant afford the debt i took from her AND the amount they wantthe judge says why did you take the debt?. BECAUSE i was tring to be the better person and ease HER burden to provide for my kids in exchange for a fixed amount of support that SHE set and agreed on and i prayed she would ease up on the allegations and allow me to see my childrenNOPEnot everyone chooses to be put in this situation. I stopped going around her house and was calling to speak to my daughter in which I kept saying to her lets make an arrangement for me to support her, she went off the hook and started cursing me out so I returned some of her words then 2 weeks later she served me with a protection order. Charging illegal amounts of interest on child support arrears increases the gross amount of child support collected, which again, increases the kickbacks that states receive for collecting child support. Though I also agree some parents are wonderful parents and unfortunately do have financial problems I also believe their are dead beat parents out there avoiding responsibility. I Agree..It was not my choice to get divorced There is no shortage of evidence showing that shared parenting helps offset the negative effects of divorce. I love my son in law but dont like him. We areout the door planning another activity. If the shoe was on the other foot, I would have been locked up for molestation, and had my kids taken away. Most normal people dont make more than 75k at a typical job. I could literally go on all day. Its very simple unless youve been the one to pay your exes new car payment while driving ole trusty rusty you have no idea. I work for the CS system in CA. SMH. Once the child reaches 18 years of age, in most states, it is no longer required that the father pay child support. This blows my wife has 400k trust fund her dad pays her13 k to be in a band she has a part timing gig at weight watchers only to make 25 k a minimum here her dad did our taxes for years and he has pumped thousand of dollars over the years as gifted money. It takes both parents to raise these children of today,,, its not just one parents obligation to foot the bill because they can hold a jobour problem is not the child support department Its babys having babys.grow up an take responsibility for your actions!! . She was put in jail for two weeks once, not for the child support itself, but for lying to the judge. When the best interest of both parents is actually attempted at being met at all? I sat down and crunched the numbers concerning the monthly expenses for raising my 2 boys, and let me tell you, my ex is getting off easy. If one parent doesnt want to work the other parent should get the kid. Credit For Marital Home Mortgage Payments. Yet the child support bill keeps racking up, I never want to leave my kids. We actively reach out to the adult kids but are met with denial. They are taught that any form of punishment is child abuse of some form, and that they can forever blame their short-comings in life upon their childhood, shrowded with falsehoods and depictions of even the most blatent displays of affectionate parenting as some form of neglect or abuse, tainting their entire upbringing, that could have been fairly peaceful and normal had the number one focus been on raising the children to the best of our ability as co-parents. Child support is about the child not a flawed or failed relationship. Whete is the one that hey no suppory bit see the other drvelopment better. If fathers are young, they may have no means of providing financial support to the mother or child. SHE abandoned him and for no reason; I have been married to my husband for 16 years and he has never even raised his voice to me, he is so kind and gentle. Feels great doesnt it? 5) Because they think the system is biased against fathers. I allow him. While Im over here working 60 hours a week to get what they get for sating at home all day the government is inableing useless people, The system is all jacked up we can all agree, but some action needs to be taken! Got my life and 2 of the kids in danger because of his stupidity. Instead I dealt with kids that slept through half the week in class because they never had to go to sleep at dads house, kids that came home every other week with a different hair color, which has been proven to increase the risk of them to develope cancer in their lives, and setting my kids up to get in trouble so that the would have yet another negative memory of me. There are a couple of other pages, but its the same thing in other languages. Example my husband pays support for a child which is half of his income. Not true for MO. Remember that child support is very important to the courts, and, regardless of personal circumstances and how tough times are, judges expect parents to do what it takes to financially support their kids. Perhaps you should explore real parenting and relationship building instead of complaining about unfair laws that dont exist. The state uses federal matching funds from teh federal taxpayer to balance their budgets. And guess what lets say she gets $300 in welfare, and your order is $200 or $100, you dont have to pay $300-the state eats the debt and tax payers support the rest of your childs needs. If my ex needs extra help with the kiddos during the week too, I help out. His responsibilities to the child begin at conception and can only be terminated with the females decision to abort the fetus or with the mothers decision to give the child up for adoption. Do you know that this man made sure that every time he went into a room, he was in front of one of those units? As a still single parent of two, I never got to start over or have any me time either. I have never received actual child support, we each take care of what we have to, and I have zero issues financially supporting my child by working, WHILE taking care of my child in every other way. She never got a job and was on welfare, food stamps, and got a medical card. But the system was established nearly 40 years ago, and is based on outdated stereotypes that viewed Mom as a housewife and Dad as the sole breadwinner. I have a lot of debt, but no regrets. I raised my daughter essentially by myself, I was a stay at home father and her and I were with each other every day. How much are we allowing to occur? MUCH simpler system to deal with than the politics of the North. Fathers Against unfair Child support and jail time over support. Some custodial parents think that money is all they have to contribute to raising their child or children. There should be no extra money for extra time. Even after i gave in to her demands she got the house,new car,property,kids,tax credit i got the 20k loan debt that i had to barrow to cover her Credit card spending spree and a fixed amount for child support,,no problemfine that was the deal my lawyer said sign it its the best you will get and its over for good. While I try to build up time spent with her mom. Because we could barely pay bills, he got behind on taxes, had to file bankruptcy to get out from under all of the credit card bills she ran up when they were married. But we all know it isnt bring used for my one and only. Being the monetary and human being support system for said child. You only give up this right if you reject to assume your 50% parental responsibility, in which case the parent ith 100% of the responsibility deserves entirely the other parents support. If guys can go around have kids all over the place without facing consequences for their actions then yeah something should be done about that. I get disability benefits and $700 does not do it a month. The father has done everything in his power to avoid paying from jobs under the table to living with his mother to not filing taxes. I demanded 50/50 joint with no legal custodial, even though the standard was to me. I have to pay child support in the amount of money I would have spent on them while not in my custody. How? The Judge asks my council to hold a telecon with my exs council in the Judges chambers. Where do you get 25%, because I have 54% of my paycheck taken and that is for one kid. Interesting conversation. And she saved none of the child support for the childs future, including college education. So the effort put into digging out of college debt, working extra hours, and occasionally a second job, all are now being used against me, as ALL of my income is used to calculate my child support obligation for my one and only child regardless of what we as the parents want and agree to. What if the husband doesnt want a divorce but is forced into it anyway? I still sit here penalized with restrictions, garnishments etc when Ive supported my son since before an order ever existed. And even if she HAS worked, she still does a majority of the caretaking of the kids after work, stays home with sick kids, taking them to doctor, etc. My wife decided to have an affair and marry the guy. If a woman can legally give her kid up for adoption and be absolved of any financial obligations to that kid why shouldnt a man be allowed to do the same?He cant because she can trick a guy into getting her pregnant, get cash and food stamps from the State AND get the state to harass, extort, threaten, and terrorize some guy into paying her under threat of garnishment, loss of rights, imprisonment etc.. No wonder your ex got himself locked up. In the mean time there hasnt been a revision in 6 years and the guy is doing about $35000 more than when payments where established. She is their mother, so they belong with her.. What I do have an issue with is the state telling me I also owe $23,000.00 for interest which has accrued since then, which I find to be TOTAL b.s.!!! My husband ex wife admits to breaking bottles over his head and stalking down women she thought he was sleeping with. Women can get men fired from a job easily with just a mere sexual harassment allegation. Its awful for the kids especially in contentious situations. The fact of the matter is that, SOME, women now how to play the system and only want child support to ruin the guy. My ex left me in 2005 for a female soldier when he was in iraq and had gotten her pregnant. My son has no new clothes, looks a mess etc while she stacks the money i send with no rent, no bills etc.. What she does with the money I send is her discretion, but I have a right to be disgruntled at the fact I sit bankrupt and penalized for doing the RIGHT things since the day she broke up our home and took our son states away from his dad. Stay-at-home fathers are not always cast in the best light. Custodial parents should be required to document actual costs of the child (day care, health care, clothing, extra curriculars etc) and there should be an equitable split of these costs between the parents (based on earning ability, education etc, not whether they want to work or not). If expenses were split down the middle evenly a child can easily be raised on much less than $1,000.00 per month if you are a good money manager. Went from a 26.00 an hour job to a 10.00 job and no adjustment or assistance. Whose purpose is to: The OCSE assures that assistance in obtaining support (both financial and medical) is available to children through locating parents, establishing paternity and support obligations, and enforcing those obligations. Seems actually having to care for his boys for an entire week, every other week is too much to bear for him. The father cannot get back on his feet when 33% of his income is automatically taken . Oh, by the way, he old paid it because I filed for divorce and took him to court. Im a good father. So since she was claiming that as income, he should have been able to claim it as an expense. I am going through s very similar situation as many of you and it makes me sick. Joe , guess you end up paying anyway ! The payments were so high I eventually became homeless. But we NEVER EVER fight over her. So I paid her 2,900 a month for 15 years. Articles &CLE Legal Issues A.R.T. This isnt just my child its hers as well and I pay all this money for a kid I no longer see! The state? NONE OF THEM WANT A CHANGE! Its math. Bruce you are right on time with this brother. She would stay in bed til 2 pm and get up and make herself food. Also I had a garnishment of 9000 held in limbo for 15 months where it was not applied to my child support for that entire time. He refused to have it fixed, even when I offered to pay him back in three days s. I couldnt bear watching my young toddler and other kids sweat for a day! The National Parents Organization states, "Long ago and far away there was a land in which non-custodial fathers paid child support directly to the custodial motherIn the 1970s, child support collection, disbursement and accounting became a function of government instead." #childsupport #indigentfathers #americancorruptfamilylaw I feel the judicial system and the lawyers in the Northeast line each others pockets and wipe each others hands. Our daughter spends approximately 75% of her time with me, but I dont expect him to pay me to feed her or house her. She was 34, and I was 16. Child Support Enforcement can be a tool to ensure those dads (and moms) who voluntarily decide not to support their children are forced too, but these laws need to be revamped significantly. The working dad (or in some cases mom..change the names per situation) gets a huge bill each month while the mother does whatever she wants with the $. "It's a case of, 'Get your lazy behind off the couch,'" Trout says of judges addressing stay-at-home dads, adding that he heard one judge say almost precisely that. The research indicated that fathers typically gained financially following a divorce, even though they were ordered to pay child support, and mothers typically lost financially, they had both. I definitely agree but by that same token there are parents who are expected to pay over $1000/month to a parent who doesnt even make that to support a child. A Father, fighting to be a DadJoin the fight! This means that a judge can still order child support even if both parents state they do not need it. The matching dollars was supposed to help States pay for tracking down dead beat dads, but now every dad that gets a divorce is a dead beat. I have a child that I was seeing everyday I picked him up from school everyday then went and cooked him dinner before I met backup with his mother I spent thousands of dollars on daycare alone with no help paid out of pocket for medical because she wasnt going to do it also got him every weekend. Please see both: http://www.fathersunite.org/Child%20Support%20Incentive%20Abuse%20Report.pdf and https://web.archive.org/web/20150219014614/http://answerisland.com/child-support-kickbacks.html. The truth is, many mothers that have sole custody dont get to start over. The order also stated I was over $20,000 in debt, my passport was revoked, tax refunds began being intercepted, 40% of paycheck garnished the list goes on. Here's how you can give Black fathers a better chance in court. His current child support was reduced from $649 a month for Jessica to $325 a month and the payments on the back child support were reduced from $400 a month to $150 a month. In many states the men cannot. I pay $1,741 per month for two kids when the mother makes over $140k a year. Open your mind and see the truth. Now what I do. Unfortunately, some parents dont take initiative to support their child but I do see that the system is flawed, I. I did some research, and found that my state measures child support compliance by the gross amount of child support collected, because it increases the federal reimbursements that the state receives under the Child Support Performance and Incentive Act (http://fathersunite.org/Child%20Support%20Incentive%20Abuse%20Report.pdf). I tried to get food stamps so I could afford groceries, but I was denied because she has a food stamp case open. 2. Instead, CSS has helped her collect half of my check for my entire adulthood. Its a sad situation that there is no way they can grasp as 8 and 5 year olds, they arent adults able to understand it all yet. [2] Child support is not alimony. I did NOT include rent, extracurricular activities, cell phone bill, or clothing. We have a 1970s narrative about a 2010s reality, Edin said. It matters because its disproportionate.. She loses nothing, essentially, while the fathers salary is now roughly 20k less. So if that isnt a DEAD BEAT DAD WHAT IS? Trust me Ill be waiting and I will tell her the story and show her the court papers of all the fighting I did to get my visitation and all the false reports her mom made so I couldnt her like threatening to kill her, my home being unsafe, and mess a of other things. Thank GOD, OMalley is out and Hogan is in!!! I changed more dippers and fed my child way more than my ex ever thought of. I filed for child support in 2015, but cancelled the case when he begged me to and we agreed that he would pay me $250/month (I have text messages to prove this). Your email address will not be published. Making one family suffer so lawyers and judges can pad their pockets and the other parent can sit on their butt is criminal. My older cousin put himself on child support because his babys mother was upset that he wanted nothing to do with her but everything to do with their son so she started threatening him that he wouldnt be allowed to see him anymore. Why is it ok to see women as victims of rape, and not men as victims of the archaic family/divorce laws? In no state is a parent allowed to withhold visitation because of support owed. Michelle Ferreri licensed in PA and NJ only - Philadelphia, PA. Dorothy Walsh Ripka licensed in OH, IL, MO, KY and TX only. How is this fair to my niece and nephew or to my other two children one of which is special needs. I dont understand why half your check is missing, I thought you said it was 25%. To those who really believe in the dead-beat dads and trying to make an excuse for them, instead of talking SO MUCH ABOUT IT.FIND THEM AND HELP THEM! support the brandon jones act in wa state. Someone who has made the exes car payment 100 times to many yes. I had to track it sown to get credit and when I did they didnt refund my 9000 of being over paid they just kept taking and I was quite a bit ahead. He never picked up the children and NEVER spent time with them. Its not about male or female. Some fathers do not even know they have a child until they receive a notice for past due child support. It should be 50/50 automatically and child support should never give more money to one parent than the other. He had custody because moms now husband is a pedophile, and so the children were placed w/ him and but the husband of mom took a test in Nebraska due to her pleas w the courts the kids need her etc and he passed to be safe around kids(who knew there was such a test, but he lives w them and is a lifetime register offender), so mom taught the kids what lies say to get removed from dad and have them beg to be placed w her family and it worked. But her word of mouth and a note someone wrote for her granted me to pay amln extra 542 a month on top of the base child support. I had all 3 of my daughters since before they started school. It should be equal on both parties and the same across the board no matter the income. Its about FATHERs rights. And he is an amazing father. It seems to work out so well for them????? Like in an algebraic equation, anything you do to 1 side of the equation, The dependent spouse's income. Instead at 33 years old with an 8 year old child, she chooses to live at home and work a job in a doctors office full time making $30k per year lol!! Child Support Child Custody Cohabitation PreNup/PostNup Same-Sex Divorce He spends just as much time with their son as the boys mother does if not more so during the summer months and when he WAS working he never missed a payment, often times paying a little extra in addition to any of the day to day things his son might need (new shoes, clothing, food, school supplies, etc). Find the father (usually) so he can help to financially aid the family. I was a scout den leader, I was the one who took them to practices, etc. But I had to move out of my home. Parents are supposed to support each other and their children not have children just to collect support. 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